luck 24 Nov 2017


Imagine reversing or switching all your beliefs and preconceptions for a moment. Imagine what it would be like.

It’s almost impossible when you think about it. Hard anyway, unless one suspends disbelief, goes into a trance-like dissociative state and really let’s go….

But if and when you do so, or fail to do so – either way! –  we are re-presented with how little we know!

And what’s the use of that, you might wonder?

Well part of coming to terms with the fact there are as many, if not more, neurons in the brain as stars in the sky – check it out! – is that we obviously know so little. So very, very little. Not just of the external world and the wider universe, but also of ourselves. And of course, as is the way in this irony-filled, contradictory world of ours, accepting that we know so little is the beginning of knowing more.

But where? Where do we actually start?

Well, I am not encouraging any kind of egotistic or overly narcissistic selfishness, in saying we obviously have to start with ourselves! Our self is the one thing we have and which has us until we die.

Everyone being different and unique, people dying and others being born all the time, there are clearly things that separate us and things we have in common as human beings. For example, one of these latter is that we all make mistakes. Another is we are all subject to luck, to forces beyond our control which shape our lives. From natural disasters and wars at one end of the scale to trivial things like spilling something down our fronts at the other, luck plays a huge part in our lives on planet earth.

So, whether our luck is good, bad or indifferent at any given time and as it is anyway inescapable, our duty to ourselves is to embrace it. We don’t have to love it in any conventional sense, but we do have to take it on and deal with it as best we can.

But when times are challenging a different perspective from a psychotherapist, who may well themselves have both different and yet also some similar, if not identical, beliefs and preconceptions as your own, can sometimes be helpful in addressing our luck or karma. A psychotherapist is paid to help people safely feel and think their way through the complexities and contradictions going on in the personal or interpersonal circumstances they find themselves in, so that whatever may be happening they can at least feel they are being as true as they can be to themselves.

Blog written by Caroline Cairns Clery, Family Psychotherapist at The Surrey Centre

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