Relationships shape how we move through the world – how we love, trust, speak, listen, and show up. When they feel strained, distant or painful, it can affect every part of our lives.
You might be feeling misunderstood, stuck in familiar arguments, or struggling to connect.
You might withdraw, or find yourself people-pleasing, reacting sharply, or losing yourself in the needs of others.
You might long for closeness but fear being hurt. Or feel like you’re repeating patterns you don’t fully understand.
At The Surrey Centre, we offer a compassionate space to explore what’s happening between you and others – in your past, your present, and within yourself.
- Repeating the same patterns or conflicts – even with different people
- Feeling unseen, unworthy, or misunderstood in your relationships
- Struggling with trust, closeness, boundaries or vulnerability
- People-pleasing, over-functioning, or disconnecting from your own needs
- Anxiety about how others perceive you, or fear of being rejected
- Difficulty expressing your truth or asking for what you need
- A sense of being trapped in a dynamic that doesn’t serve you
- Fear of being alone – even when something doesn’t feel right
- Longing to feel safe, chosen, and truly known – without losing yourself in the process
Sometimes, the difficulties we face in relationships are shaped by patterns learned in childhood – especially within dysfunctional or emotionally unpredictable environments. These patterns often begin as ways to survive, to stay connected, to feel safe. But in adulthood, they can lead to pain, disconnection, and cycles we don’t know how to stop.
Co-dependency is not a diagnosis – it’s a relational pattern where your self-worth may be shaped by how others feel, behave or need you. You might struggle to say no, feel responsible for others’ emotions, or feel unable to tolerate distance in relationships.
Some signs that co-dependent dynamics may be present:
- Low self-esteem or feelings of inadequacy
- Worry about how others perceive you
- Fear of being alone or not being in a relationship
- Lack of assertiveness about your own needs
- Feeling overly responsible for others’ wellbeing
- A pattern of prioritising others at your own expense
- Feeling stuck or trapped in a dynamic that doesn’t feel healthy
Recognising these patterns is a powerful and compassionate first step – not to blame yourself, but to begin learning how to relate differently.
Relational patterns are rarely random – they are shaped by the relationships we witnessed and experienced early in life. Therapy offers a safe place to begin untangling what was never yours to carry.
Together, we may:
- Explore your relationship history and early attachment patterns
- Understand the roots of co-dependency, people-pleasing, or avoidance
- Reflect on unconscious roles or relational dynamics that no longer serve you
- Build confidence in your own voice, boundaries, and emotional needs
- Repair your relationship with yourself — so other connections can soften too
- Practice relational safety within the therapy space itself
- Gently explore what it means to stay connected to others without abandoning yourself
This work isn’t about fixing or being “better” at your relationships. It’s about becoming more aware, honest, and whole in how you show up.
Whether you’re trying to repair a relationship, end one, or understand why they feel so hard – you’re not alone.
You can begin here, with yourself.